Transfer 6: Week 6

i can't believe this transfer is ending. it has flown by. sister stratford still thinks that we'll stay together another move. we'll know around friday or saturday then moves will happen on monday.

i also can't believe that you are going to disneyland again! my first thought was that you've decided to have as much fun as possible while i'm gone to make me jealous. then i realized that it's more likely that your happiness has waned since my mtc entrance date and you're trying as hard as possible to get it back by going to the happiest place on earth.

this morning as i looked back on our lessons this past week trying to figure out what things are important enough to include in this email i saw an overarching theme throughout the week. change. everyone we meet with is at a different place. they all have different relationships with christ and his gospel (as would be expected). i can see that their attitude towards change is what is the greatest influence on their closeness with the savior. as i type i am realizing that maybe it's not their attitude towards change so much as their humility. i think in reflecting on these things is a lesson that i need to learn. heavenly father is screaming, "sister ozawa, you dimwit, be more humble!!!!" so, i'll tell you about our investigators and members and what they are and are not doing to change...
-wang jiemei. a less-active member. she used to be pretty cold to the missionaries, but we've met with her every week for the last three and a visible change is occuring. our first week with her we committed her to read the book of mormon. she reads every night before going to bed. she reports that she sleeps more soundly and that her days seem more peaceful. she told us that she thinks it's because the book of mormon isn't as gripping as the novels she typically reads before sleep; we know that it's more than that. when we visited her on friday she was so much happier than usually. we told her. she said she was happy to see us. she doesn't realize what the book of mormon is doing to her life. she's not ready at this time to admit the changes she's experiencing. i think that she'll continue to improve and then plateau until she's willing to say, "yes, this is impacting me. yes, i'll move forward accordingly."
-zheng yuling. an investigator we only meet with occasionally because she's really busy. she's christian and loves the bible. she's really really nice to us when we see her, gives us lots of delicious food to eat on the spot and take home. our plan was to teach her the plan of salvation using the bible as much as possible (preparing for the lesson helped me too see how much more clearly the plan is set forth in the book of mormon) but as soon as we walked in and sat down she asked if we could read from the bible and not the book of mormon. we started talking about her concernes with the scriptures we gave her. we testified over and over that they have the same purpose and the same gospel. eventually it came out that if she figures out that the book of mormon is true everything she believes and is doing now will crumble. i imagine that that must be a scary feeling. she knows that the truth of the book of mormon invite her to change her life and right now she's not ready to do it. i think she knows the answer she'll receive when she prays about the book of mormon, so she's hesitant to do so.
-lin jiemei. a less-active member, hurt very badly by a member and unwilling to return because of it. i love meeting with her because i learn so much each time. the spirit is always strong and undeniable. i hate meeting with her because she tells us that she's feeling the holy ghost then tells us that she won't follow his promptings. we shared with her about the holy ghost and she started talking about how everyday in her life is the same, she sounded cold and numb. we shared 2 nephi 25:23-26 with her. i know that she can became ALIVE in christ if she will just take his hand. i know that his arm is extended to all. she told us about all of the things that she sees around her that she wants to change. we testified that christ would help her transform her life, but it would take effort on her part (minimal effort in comparison to the things he can do for her!). we asked if she was willing to pray and read daily. she had no clear answer. the atonement already happened! it can only heal us and help us as much as we let it! so many people around me know this, but aren't willing to let the lord work in them! it breaks my heart.
-lai meiying. still won't give up coffee and tea. still convinced that her faith will save her. she knows that this things are true but she won't do what it takes to follow the savior. we shared moroni 7:5 with her and explained that as others know what kind of people we are by our actions, god does too. of course he knows our hearts more than anyone on earth could, but if we don't show him that we love him pronouncing ourselves as disciples of christ is pointless.
-he xiaojie. one of our miracles from last week. we met with her for the first time and taught her about heavenly father and the restoration. we told her that heavenly father loves her and that she can feel his love if she'd like to. i wish you could all see what i saw! she looked at us and said, "i can? i can feel god's love?!" we said yes and retaught prayer. we invited her to say the closing prayer. she didn't realize that we meant aloud. so, we waited for more than ten minutes as she prayed for the first time. finally we had to interrupt her and tell her that we needed to leave. (it was a hilarious moment for us!) it was really neat to see her pouring her heart out to her father for the first time. i love seeing her take the very first steps that it takes to know god. i think she'll love hearing the plan of happiness next sunday!
-tian jiaqi. has been meeting with us every other week for a couple of months. she has amazing insights but no actions to back her understanding. we planned this week to review the restoration but when we started she told us she had been reading the book of mormon and had a question about repentance. we ended up having an amazing discussion about what the atonement offers us and what we must do to utilize it. then, the next day she came to church! i think that as we shared the peace and joy of changing our hearts for christ she wanted it.
(i just realized that i'm unsure that these summaries make sense. and i feel like i sound preachy. if so it's because i'm preaching to and lecturing myself. i see me in all of these investigators.)
-hong yixiang. another spectacular lesson. i love her so much. she came in to the lesson and started telling us about some challenges with work. so we taught her why we have challenges and how we can overcome them (the plan of salvation and the atonement). it was so cool to see her immediately start to apply what we shared with her! she was so excited about all of it. almost the entire lesson was on the atonement and why we need it and why heavenly father has given it to us. she's understanding and doing!
-qiu sisters. still amazing. almost finished with the lessons. ya ping told us she's going to tell her mom about what she's learning and about her desire to be baptized then tell her mom that the only way she can decide whether her daughters can join the church is through prayer! i know heavenly father will bless their parent. i know he is softening their hearts.

my patriarchal blessing says that as i testify of the savior and his sacrifice, my mouth and mind will be filled. this week i have truly seen that. each time that we centered our lesson on him the spirit was amazing and our investigators and members could feel it. this week my gratitude for our redeemer has intensified so much. just in time for thanksgiving. (yes, dad, we'll spend it working but in the morning we'll have a special testimony meeting with our zone. on saturday, though, we'll have a branch party with turkey.)

as i've seen all of this change (and lack of) in the lives of those around me i've noticed that i have a lot that i need to do to let the gospel change me more. i know that i've progressed but i'm still so so so far from being christlike. i've tried hard this move to figure out how to get my will in line with heavenly father's. yesterday, reading moroni 7:5-10, i figured out some things i can do. i think that watching my intentions will help me to figure out whether my heart is as it should be. for example, why am i studying in the morning? because it's a rule? because if i didn't i'd be bored? because i want to understand deep doctrines for myself? or because i want to strengthen those i'm serving? or why am i riding my bike fast? because there are people to teach at my destination or because i'm too scared to talk to those next to me? our intentions are everything! if our intentions are off, our actions are pointless in a sense. so, this week i'm going to be watching myself and my desires and reasons behind what i do.

time is almost up. have fun in disney.
i have so much more to tell you all. i miss you and love you. i'm grateful for you!
happy thanksgiving!!

love,
sister jade o.