this move is almost over! what in the world? last week i was complaining about how slow time is moving and now it's gone. i think learning how to cope with the passage of time is one of the great challenges of life. at times it seems to move at an inch an hour, then suddenly miles upon miles have passed you by and you're left to ponder what has happened. thank goodness for pondering right? and the atonement! repenting for mistakes and wasted time.
yesterday i received a letter with one of my favorite c.s. lewis quotes. i had read a shorted version of it before, but never the longer version that was sent to me. can i just say- c.s. lewis is the man. i love him. my goal is to become his best friend in the spirit world. the quote sent to me is about our potential to become gods, something i love to ponder, and also about our relationships with others. right in the middle it talks about not being somber as we consider our divine destinies. c.s. says in a simple sentence, "we must play." i love that. i need to tell myself that more. once kyle said that i used to be stiff and uptight. (the pot calling the kettle black?) i think that sometimes i am. like dad and lin jiemei said, when i talk about things on my mind my brows wrinkle and i get an intense, serious expression on my face. there is no time for such things! our life is short, miles pass us by right? we need to be smiling the whole time. what reason do we have to not smile, when we consider that we are children of a divine heritage!?! so, this week i'm going to work hard. but i'm also going to play! i look forward to it.
i feel like last week's email was very unspiritual and probably a disappointment to some readers. (dad, i'm glad you found enjoyment in it. i'll fill e. richter in.) fortunately, this letter will somewhat redeem last week's. this week has had high point after high point it seems. the pinnacle was last night. i can't wait to share...
our investigators, for the most part, are doing so well. they are my little garden, and they are blossoming! it's wonderful.
we're kind of worried about chen ci rong. she has an eight year old daughter and a boyfriend that lives with her. when i consider teaching her the law of chastity i feel myself becoming flushed and awkward. (i'm going to be such a little weirdo when i come home.) she has a baptismal date that she set herself. she came to a lesson a few weeks ago and before we could extend an invitation she announced that she didn't want to keep standing outside of the church thinking it's beautiful. she wants to come inside and be part of it. she said she has faith that she can be baptized without perfect knowledge and then grow within the walls of the church. how cool is that? this week she told us that she wants her boyfriend to here the lessons. yesterday we planned to share with her about enduring to the end and some commandments, but last minute decided to watch a video from the 80's called, together forever. i am so glad we did! it's about the gospel strengthening our families and the miracle of eternal families. after watching she told us she wants her boyfriend to see it. temple marriage anyone!?! i think this will be good. he already wants to be married, she thinks they need to wait until the economy is better. i'm sure it will all work out and ci rong will be baptized in november as scheduled.
you fu xian, the girl we met a couple of p-days ago is so good! so good! she's going to get baptized. i can feel it. when we met with her yesterday she told us she wants to bring some of her friends to church. she also asked a question about polygamy. living in utah makes me an expert (or so my companion assumed), so i answered and cleared thing up. after discussing and assuring her that polygamists are not members of our church she said, "i've never doubted this church." what faith! she's great! she's a miracle!
on monday night we had an amazing lesson with weng yi ling, our baptismal date that moved here from jiayi. we talked about repentance and focused on scriptures. from the beginning to the end it was wonderful. yi ling is really quiet and hard to feel close to, but as soon as we ask her about what part of the book of mormon she read the week prior she becomes another person. she describes her feelings and gets excited and smiles and smiles. she recently read parts of 3 nephi, we had a great discussion on christ's teaching and then dove into repentance. i love testifying and KNOWING the things we say are true. as we taught i realized the importance of guilt. i hate guilt and sorrow, sometimes it's excruciating. but, those feelings give us a little glimpse of what christ felt for us. consider the guilt i have felt in my life, and then multiplying it by billions makes me so grateful for the savior. no one will ever be as great as he is. and no one will ever be more important in my life.
last night's lesson with jenny, another baptismal date was very similar. i'm not sure whether i've mentioned before the disappointment of being a missionary. i think i have. pre-mission i envisioned a little voice behind my right ear, constantly guiding and directing me, telling me what to say and how to say it. things in taiwan have not been so. as missionaries we have to have faith that our thoughts are, in fact, from divine sources and move forward based on them. a lot of the time we are left wondering, was that me or the holy ghost? i testify that last night it was the holy ghost! it's spectacular to be able to say that. jenny's parents oppose her baptism and jenny's faith, at this time, doesn't seem to be enough to overcome that. i believe that if she really had desire to be baptized, it would happen. we've taught her every principle in preach my gospel and are at the point where we are banging our heads against the wall trying to strengthen her faith. our district leader, bless him, suggested that we read scriptures with her. so, last night we all sat down with our books opened to 2 nephi 4. go read it now! the psalm of nephi is my favorite part of the book of mormon! the scriptures seemed to open up before our eyes. as we discussed the trials nephi went through and his faith i thought of something, or more accurately, the spirit pointed something out to me... so, lehi and his family pick up and leave jerusalem without question. at that point (early in 1 nephi), they have no promise of a prepared land. all they know is that the lord has said to leave their comfortable home and their happy lives and their convenient riches, so they do it. when they are in the wilderness, travelling with little aim beside following the will of the lord, laman and lemuel want to return home. but do you think their home would be the same? would it be there? probably not. someone else has moved in, their possessions are gone. converts in taiwan frequently have to "leave jerusalem". maybe their parents oppose their conversion, or their friends like to drink and disown them. after they've started wandering in the wilderness they can't really return to their "jerusalem", their homes are gone. fortunately, we know that there is a prepared land ahead of us, called the celestial kingdom. but still, travelling in "the wilderness" can be scary and lonely and we don't necessarily know what is ahead. investigators and converts have to step forward with faith, trusting in god and the savior. i imagine there are many times that they feel they are stepping into darkness. but i know that christ will be their light. he may not be like the luxor ray, allowing them to see from where they are to the end of the road, but he will light what is ahead of them and lead them slowly to salvation. i love the hymn lead kindly light. i'm not sure the english lyrics, but in chinese it says essentially, "one step, one step." christ will guide us and help us make those steps. and he will never ever leave us alone. i pray that jenny will do what it takes to leave jerusalem, trusting that heavenly father will lead her safely to a promised land!
during the lesson we testified that god is still a god of miracles and that we as missionaries see miracles every day. jenny asked, "what miracles have you seen on your mission?" at that point i realized i need to be better documenting our daily miracles! or mission is doing this cool thing where once a week we get a page of four or five miracles seen which the mission boundaries. we are blessed every day!! i love it.
time is almost up, so i'll tell you a few short, interesting things, then bid adieu...
-the other day we were riding through the city and out of nowhere see a cow and an empty lot. i've gotten better at controlling my mouth, but at that point i couldn't and exclaimed. "what in the world?!?!" several motorists turned and stared in my direction.
-the next day, in front of a store, i say the biggest pig i've ever seen in my life. seriously, it was like three of me!
-if you ask a taiwanese woman how long their gestation is they will say 10 months.
-my new favorite piece of clothing is the pair of basketball shorts handed down to me by sister blackham. i regret not having a brother to introduce me to this level of comfort earlier. i will never wear jeans again!
-on sunday we came out of our apartment to find a man sleeping with no pants in front of our building. we determined to hand him to the elders as a referral, but forgot by the time we got to church.
-ruth may fox is my new hero! she took a bit out of her grandmother's china! how cool is that?!
-look up "five small experiences" from the february 2004 ensign. 2004 was a good year for the church magazines!!
time is up! i love you and miss you all!!
love,
sister jade!
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