a few weeks ago i received a letter from my missionary friend sister andersen (i
love my missionary friends!). she talked about working on diligence because
preach my gospel promises that diligence will lead to finding joy in the work.
this past week a line from "battle hymn of the republic" seems to constantly run
through my head... "be swift my soul to answer him, be jubilant my feet." on
monday night after weekly planning, companionship inventory (sometimes, no more
like often, the best things for you are the most dreaded), and a lesson which
made it clear that our investigator was not going to give up buddhism (she kept
saying over and over about the plan of salvation, "it's the same as
reincarnation. it's the same as buddhism. you just want me to go through once
instead of several times. i'm already almost to the celestial kingdom.") my
companion and i worked really hard on being diligent and focused. i mean, we're
diligent and focused every day, but this time we worked for it and focused more
on it and did it together. it was one of the most pleasant nights of my mission.
and more than just me being happy, my comp and i were happy together, which is
essential! these combined have caused me to come to the conclusion that rather
on working hard to find happiness through investigators or finding or personal
study or prayer at the timest that things may be difficult, i need to start
finding joy in the work through diligence.
this week has been pretty good. i think it has been kind of like a model of the
typical week of a missionary. we've had a few investigators "commit suicide",
either through their actions (not answering their phones) or through their words
("i'll just come to the church when i have time. it was great to meet you."). but we've also found some great new ones. we've met some crazies (chen yujun
that i was excited about last week is definitely not emotionally stable) and
have been able to help and meet some awesome ward members.
qianrong passed her baptismal interview on friday! elder welling said that she
is really awesome and that her testimony is strong. right before the interview
we had a really stern lesson directed to her mom. remember, she knows the
commandments, testifies of the commandments but doesn't keep them. we talked
about heavenly fathers inability to help us and bless us when we knowingly break
his commandments. and we talked about the fact that the holy ghost is only
promised to attend us as we keep our baptismal covenants and worthily partake of
the sacrament. we committed her to tell her boss that she wouldn't work on
sundays. she spirit was very strong as we testified that heavenly father knows
their family and their financial situation and that he would make up for
whatever income is lost by her resting on sunday. i know that god loves all of
his children. i know that he will bless that family. chen jiemei (qianrong's
mom) wept as she said that she knew what she needed to do. she came to church
that sunday! and her daughter's didn't have the 7-11 breakfasts that she have in
hand every sabbath morning. i am so happy for them. i can't wait to see the
blessings that will be poured upon them the coming weeks as they work as a
family to prepare for qianrong and yixuan's baptisms.
this week i read a talk that has become one of my new favorites. "broken things
to mend" by elder jeffrey r. holland. lately i feel like i've learned a lot that
will change the way i face trials. in elder holland's talk one of my favorite
parts says, "[when we are facing hardships or feel that all is going horribly
and beyond repair] anything we can change we should change, and we must forgive
the rest." after reading this i realized there is so much about my current way
of looking at challenges that i need to change and repent of. the world's
mindset is to be angry or sad and to mope a bit, rather than looking at a
difficult situation and thinking, "what do I (imagine that I in italics) need
to change?" when i ponder facing trials with a penitent attitude and then moving
forward making necessary changes as directed by the spirit, i realize that a lot
of things that "went wrong" in my pre-mission life could have been a lot more
bearable.. i think it is important to learn that we must change ourselves before
our world can change. as i state that it sounds so obvious, but how often do we
live it? the next part of what he says is that we MUST forgive the rest. i think
i need to work on letting go of that which i can't control. and not letting go
begrudgingly or full of frustration! i need to better recognize that we all have
agency, i cannot change others' decisions, but i can choose how i react. i've
always found it hard to say "it's all in the lord's hands" because so much is
influenced by the choices of imperfect people here on earth. i do know, though,
that we can trust in god and his promises (i recently received a letter that
reminded me about the "principle of compensation" as elder joseph b. wirthlin
taught in "come what may and love it"). as we do our part and walk forward,
repenting of our inadequecies (emphasize the "working to change" part of
repentance) and forgive others of theirs, heavenly father and the atonement will
make up for whatever is lacking, we will grow, and we will be steps closer to
the celestial glory waiting for us. i'm sorry that when i share things i learn
my voice sound like it is lecturing and my thoughts are typed sloppily.. i hope
that all of that made sense. i love that on my mission every day i'm faced by my
weaknesses, every day i see areas that need to be changed. it's hard, it's not
always fun, but i know that i'm a better person for it.
other than that a few interesting bits from the last while...
-we have a new investigator named "kitty". please say that your minds were just
flooded with thoughts of my high school career and how much i adore the name
"kitty" haha. i laugh whenever we talk about her. i like her because on her
english class registration form she wrote her age as "18+1" meaning that she's
19, and because she wants to learn the gospel.
-the other day a less-active member i had never met asked me if i was taiwanese
as we talked on the phone. she said my chinese was really good. i have mixed
feelings: first, i'm flattered and grateful that heavenly father helps me to
communicate with "black hats", second, i'm disappointed- i work hard to have a
mainland accent rather than a taiwanese accent. i hope i sound more like i'm
from beijing than from southern taiwan, but being understood is the important
part and conveying the spirit is the purpose.
-last week i forgot my preach my gospel at the church for a few days. i felt
unwell and naked every morning without it. i love that book!
-i am called sister heinous. my legs are covered in bumps.
-chris pfau is coming to jia yi in june!!!
my time is up. i love you! mom-i want to hear details about mandi and scott's
visits!
love,
jade! zeng jiemei
